


The Wind that Passed by

by mbav54



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Graphic Violence, M/M, Please Love me, Romance, i need attention, please love this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-01-06 03:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12202914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mbav54/pseuds/mbav54
Summary: Struck by grief from Ethan's and Evelyn's death, Benny sees it only fitting that he moves on. But how could he when his best friend was brutally murdered in front of his eyes? Things get strange, though when he encounters that same friend, completely fine, in the middle of the night.





	1. Lonely Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I do this to myself? A question I ask every time. But since this is my first time writing for this fandom in this site, I’ll fill you in. By far, this idea is the … second most developed one in my head, and I’ve already written the first few chapters of it in Fanfiction. Problem is, the writing was cringey, and here is my second attempt. Let’s see how cringey my writing is now. Probably very. I haven’t written in so long. 
> 
> Endure me.

One close friend’s death was already too much. Especially when said friend had recently turned seventeen. An even closer relative’s death was just the icing on the cake. Not to mention the presence of a neglectful father who never seemed to care about his son’s life. Trauma over trauma over trauma.

That’s how life was like to Benny Weir this past week. He felt so lonely. Currently, he was at the house alone, no best friend to play on the computer with him, no grandmother to yell at him for being too loud, and no parent to boss him around. It was so silent, unlike how it was previously. Well, usually, Benny was the one who caused all the noise, but the knot in his throat and the absence of another soul in the house made it hard to do anything.

He couldn’t even call a pizza guy to deliver food at this point. He felt too shaken to call anyone on the phone. And it felt so weird to be in this stranger’s body. The Benny that used to live here was animated, happy, and positive. Now he was a totally different person. Everyone was.

The Morgans weren’t the same as before. He could tell there was some kind of tension in the household. Then there was Rory who kept it to himself unless he wanted to trash-talk Benny. Sarah had been crying the most of the group, and finally there was Erica who seemed to be outwardly fine, but Benny could tell she was also affected by the loss of a friend.

Benny looked down on his right side where his spell book was opened on the bed. He couldn’t look at it anymore. His head hurt him. So he closed it, and put it in a drawer. He had been looking for a spell to contact ghosts, but all of the spells either required a higher level of skill, or were too risky to perform. And he didn’t want to unleash a demon again and go through the process of trying to take it down when he was too mentally tired.

Deciding he was too exhausted for this whole … thinking thing, he chose to sleep. He closed his lights, and was going to close the curtains when, for a second, he froze looking at the window opposite his. Ethan’s window.

It used to be filled with lights, a shadow sometimes walking around, and sometimes in the afternoon, a boy would be looking back at him, sending him text messages and making silly faces. Now it was just lit up. He could tell that someone else was in the room, perhaps Jane or Samantha or even Ross, but again, Benny felt too sick of his thoughts to look at the window, so he closed the curtains, and lied down on his bed.

He wanted to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come. He might have underestimated the power of his stimulated brain. He sat back up, finding it pointless to sleep when he was too distracted. Maybe he could browse the web, but he wasn’t feeling it. Perhaps he could start a new hobby since this was going to be his life from now on, but he didn’t have the energy for that at this point. He was still grieving over Ethan and his grandmother that he couldn’t do anything.

Except, well, he hasn’t tried something he had learned from his grandmother before she had died. The dead can hear you, she said. Even if a million people are talking to them at once, spirits behave differently, and if you talk to them, they will listen. He hasn’t talked to any spirits yet. He should. Despite the difficulty Benny was facing with trying to speak, he somehow found a way to speak.

“Hey, E,” he started off, feeling a bit awkward. It was strange talking to a spirit since he couldn’t see it. But it also felt strange because the moment he had spoken, he had felt the place become slightly colder. Was he here? Did he hear Benny? Either Ethan was thrilled to hear Benny’s voice, or mad. After all, Benny hadn’t really gone to the funeral because that day, his grandmother had also died. Even when he had later visited the grave, he was a tearful mess. He didn’t dare speak to him until now. “It’s been really tough for me, but I wanted to say hi.” He didn’t know how he laughed, but he did. And it wasn’t a joyful laugh. “Serves me right, huh?” He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, muttering to himself, “I’m so horrible.” Horrible because he had mistreated his best friend on his last day on Earth. If there was anything Benny regretted, it was his lack of support that day.

* * *

_A week ago, Benny had been sitting on his computer, trying to beat a level in a video game. If Ethan and Rory were there with him, he could probably defeat the boss quickly, but Rory was busy, and Ethan hadn’t been online on the phone for almost an hour. Oh, well. He could do this alone. Maybe._

_He was grateful then to hear a knocking at the door. Mostly because he was about to throw a tantrum, and snapping back to reality calmed him down a bit. He paused the game, and turned towards the door. “E! Hey!” he said, and moved his chair aside so Ethan could sit comfortably on the bed._

_The other teenagers shut the door behind him and looked with amusement on the screen. “Really? You’re stuck on this? There’s worse to come, you know. Your video game skills are weak.”_

_“And yours aren’t?” he asked, feeling slightly offended. “No, actually, don’t answer that. You hurt me. You didn’t answer me on the phone.”_

_He could tell that for a brief second, Ethan seemed to freeze in his place, but he had regained his composure in the blink of an eye. “Oh, I had to do something for Mom. Don’t worry about it.”_

_Benny nodded. “Fine. I forgive you. But never again.” Ethan gave an obviously fake smile. This was so unlike him. What was up with him. “Is there something wrong?”_

_Ethan shook his head. “No, not at all.” He repositioned himself on the bed, deciding the wall was a good support for his back. “I actually came to tell you something.” He started fidgeting with his fingers, seemingly nervous. “I don’t know how well you’ll take it, though.”_

_Putting his controller down, Benny replied with, “You know me. Whatever it is, I’ll hear it out. What is it?”_

_Ethan had taken a few seconds before he spoke. “I’m bi,” he said. Benny nodded, waiting for more, and Ethan seemed to be waiting for a reaction, but he gave up on that the moment Benny had wanted to speak. “And, well, I kinda ... like you.” He didn’t look Benny directly in the eyes, but it didn’t matter because neither did Benny look back. Out of all the things that could happen, why this? Not that Benny was opposed to it, but this was his best friend, and he’d never, ever thought of him this way. It came as a shock to him. “B?” Ethan said._

_Benny shook his head. “I … don’t know what to say to that.” He let out a sigh. “I might need some time to think about what you said.”_

_Out of his peripheral vision, Benny could see Ethan nodding, and he seemed to be so sad. It kind of hurt Benny to see him that way, but he couldn’t think straight at the moment. Oh, that’s not what he meant. But he was definitely straight, and he couldn’t take this lightly since this had to do with Ethan. “Okay, then,” Ethan muttered, and stood up. “Guess I’ll leave.” And so, he left without a word. Not a ‘see you later’ or a ‘goodbye’. It was just silent._

* * *

Benny knew technically he wasn’t at fault in this situation, but it still sucked to see Ethan hurt. And this wasn’t even the worst of it. The last time he had seen Ethan, he was rarely being looked at in the eyes. Like Ethan did not want to confront him. That was what made Benny guilty.

“I know,” he continued. “I shouldn’t be saying this. You want me to move on, you want me to be happy, but that seems impossible. I’m so … mentally tired. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.” His previous interests did not appeal to him anymore. Only his bed did, and even that he had trouble with. He wrapped his arms around himself. “But I think I would have been better if I hadn’t seen everything happen.”

* * *

_Benny kept looking out the window that night, hoping that Ethan was still in his room, or at least the house, and he was for the most part. That was until Benny saw Ethan leaving the house, frantic. He looked so shaken, like he wanted to be anywhere but home. Normally, Ethan would come to Benny’s house, but Benny wasn’t familiar with this Ethan. He had never seen Ethan behave like this. And unpredictable he was. He started heading the opposite way. Problem was: none of their friends’ house was on that side of the street, or that side of Whitechapel, actually, and neither was the library. These were the only places the boy visited during summers. Strange._

_Benny grabbed his jacket, and headed to the door, his worry for Ethan increasing. He had a bad feeling about this._

_“Where are you going?” came his grandmother’s voice. She had a wooden spatula in her hand, and an apron around her waist. Benny was scared for a second before he realized he was never spanked by his grandmother, and likely would never get spanked._

_“Oh, to go see Ethan,” he said, which wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth._

_“Okay, just be safe, all right?”_

_Benny nodded, kissed her on the cheek, and left the house. He had looked for Ethan for what seemed like ten minutes, and when Benny finally saw Ethan, it seemed that Ethan was coming back home. But he didn’t look any better. His lips were pressed together, his eyes tiredly looking at the ground, and his hands were in his pockets. “Ethan!” Benny exclaimed, and went towards the boy._

_Ethan lifted his head to look at Benny, then looked down almost immediately. “Is it … me?” Benny asked. No answer, just walking. “Ethan, please answer me. I got scare when you got out of the house.” Ethan did look up, but not at Benny, it was behind Benny, his eyes now like saucers. Benny turned around, and saw a guy walked. What was the big deal?_

_Ethan stepped back, then finally looked at Benny. “Go home,” he said._

_“What?” Benny asked, confused._

_“Go!” Ethan said, and he was about to take Benny aside when the guy he had just seen had taken him by one arm. Benny wanted to shake his hand off, but he didn’t have the physical strength to do so. He was shoved to the side towards an alley, and another pair of hands grabbed him._

_Not caring, Benny wanted to use magic on them, but surprisingly, nothing worked. He could usually be able to perform some spells with ease, including the ones that he intended to use, but weirdly enough, he couldn’t. He looked at Ethan, who was also held by some other guys, and brought to the alley. He seemed to have given up at this point._

_Benny felt angry, because how could he in a moment like this? How could he give up so easily? They had survived through much worse things, and they could do so now. “Benny Weir,” said the guy, taking out a sharp knife. Benny’s heart started to race. “And Ethan Morgan.” He smiled. “You two have a reputation around, yet you couldn’t fight off humans like us. Well, let me be specific. We’re hunters.” He looked at the two in disgust. “And I thought our job is to rid this world of abominations like you. If I knew this was going to be easy, I would have done it a long time ago.”_

_The guy had started to step towards Benny, and Benny stood strong, not willing to give in just yet. He would do whatever he could, even if Ethan wouldn’t._

_“Wait,” Ethan said, making the guy turn around. “You want to kill him?” Ethan asked, and the guy looked at him as if he was stupid. Well, obviously he wanted to do that. “I suggest you don’t. Because if you do, I will scream. We’re surrounded by apartments here, and I don’t think you want to be caught.”_

_The guy chuckled. “We can just kill you first, or cover your mouth. Easy solution.” He ordered to cover the boy’s mouth, but that didn’t stop Ethan. Knowing how determined he was, he knew the next move._

Oh, but you seem to be forgetting _, came his voice in Benny’s head, and all of their heads, probably, because they all turned to look at him._ I’m a seer. And I’m not as weak as you think I am. Whatever you do, I can still scream out for help in people’s heads. They might freak out, true, but don’t underestimate people’s fears. _The guy hesitated, but told his friend to take away his hand. “Okay,” Ethan said afterwards, “let’s make a deal.”_

_“E, no,” Benny said._

_“You let Benny go, and you only kill me. In return, I won’t do whatever I just demonstrated,” he said._

_If Benny wasn’t held so tightly, he might have as well faced a tremor. “Ethan, are you crazy?” he asked._

_But the guy was already moving towards Ethan. Benny tried again and again to use a spell, but nothing worked. It looked like those … demons had used something to block magic. And there were many things that could block magic within a certain range._

_“Any last words?” the guy asked._

_“E,” Benny said, feeling a knot form in his throat. He wanted to scream at his friend, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. His throat wasn’t letting him make any sound at the moment. He couldn’t breathe. This was too real._

_Ethan, for the second and final time, had looked at Benny, and said, “Take care of Jane for me.” Benny wished he had even a second to react to any of this, because just as soon as Ethan finished his sentence, the knife went through his chest._

_Benny didn’t remember much of what he did and how he did it, but he remembered his magic working, him almost choking the hunters on the spot to death, but the bleeding body next to him stopped him. He let go of the hunters, and shifted his attention back to his dying friend. It wouldn’t help, and he knew that, but he formed a magic barrier around them even though he would prefer to die right now rather than witness all of this happen._

_There was so much blood. Blood everywhere. And his eyes, they were closed, and he couldn’t tell if he was breathing. His first instinct was to call the ambulance, and he did so. For a brief moment, he held Ethan’s limp hand, but it was already less warm than usual. Ethan was dying, and he couldn’t do anything about it._

* * *

He remembered the ambulance coming. He remembered them taking away Ethan. He remembered reaching the hospital in the Morgans’ car and finding out Ethan was pronounced dead on his way here. And if he thought he was having it badly, Samantha had it even worse. She was sobbing the whole time, wanting to see her son. The doctor kept apologizing to her, but she still kept sobbing. Ross was being the strong one in the family, as Benny had expected, but even he could see the sorrow on Ethan’s father’s face. Jane, meanwhile, was crying, yes, but she was silent, unmoving. It was so depressing in there. Even Erica, when she had arrived with Sarah and Rory, looked different. She was putting up a tough front, but like Ross, nothing could hide her sadness.

But the death continues to be his worst memory yet. It was one hundred time worse than his grandmother’s death, because at least she died in her sleep. Ethan was a young boy who stabbed in the heart. Worst of all, Benny never really said anything to Ethan about his crush. And Ethan would never be able to go to college, get his own apartment, and have children like he had once wanted. But at least he didn’t have to live in this cruel, unfair world anymore. He was probably enjoying Heaven or something.

Perhaps the feeling of loneliness didn’t come solely from Ethan. It was from what he was going through with his friends. Apparently, Ethan told Rory much more things than Benny had expected, Rory was mad at Benny. Why? He didn’t know, but all he knew was that they weren’t talking to each other anymore. Sarah and Erica remained friends with both of them, but the group was divided now.

“Everything’s been plain bad after you left,” Benny said, shaking off the memory. “Rory’s not talking to me anymore, Grandma died, your house just looks depressing, and … I miss you.” He felt cheesy and overly-cliché saying this. But he had to get it out of his system. “After you left, I came to the realization that I may not be straight after all. I don’t know what I am yet, but I know that if you were here, I would have definitely considered you as a date.” He breathed out. “Too late for that.” He stood up, not wanting to talk anymore. He didn’t feel like it. “Anyway, I just wanted to formally say goodbye, and tell you what’s been happening. Hey, guess I’ll see you in the afterlife.”

He mostly wanted this over with so he could get up and do something. He couldn’t sit here in his depressing room anymore. Especially after the coldness had gone away, and Benny felt lonely again.

He noticed his box of comic books, and emptied it. Then he looked at the Morgans’ house. They were still awake. Okay. Good. He opened his drawer to see a bunch of Ethan’s items, including clothes and console CDs, and many other things. He put them in the box, but he kept a few of them. He’d move on eventually. Just not yet.

He stood up, ready to leave, but he saw the letter Ross had given him like six days ago, which was one of the messages that Ethan had hand-written for his friends and family. In Benny’s, Ethan had revealed that he knew about his demise a week before it happened, and had written down his feelings like how he wanted Benny to live a guilt-free life. And he knew that his wasn’t the only one with revelation like that because when Benny had seen Ethan’s parents again, they had asked him if Ethan really was gifted with the sight, and if he had anything to do with the supernatural world that Ethan mentioned. Of course, he couldn’t lie. If this is what Ethan wanted his parents to know, he needed to respect his wishes. And he was glad the Morgans didn’t look at him differently, which would make the trip there easier.

He made his way to the house, and rang the doorbell. Samantha had greeted him in her pajamas, her eyes looking tired, though she seemed curious about the box, but she quickly realized what it was. She protested to the fact that he was bringing this back, but he insisted, and she let him enter Ethan’s room.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t alone there. Jane was on the bed, playing with her toys, and she didn’t seem to care that he was here. Benny put the box down on the computer desk, and rested on the bed for a bit. He turned to Jane, who looked at him, appearing puzzled. “You’re not just here to bring stuff over.”

He shook his head. “Nope,” he said. “I’m tired of my room. I wanted to come her one last time.” No comment on that. Jane just kept playing, trying to dress up her Debbie Dazzle doll, which still freaked Benny out to this day. “Do you spend your time here a lot?” he asked.

Jane nodded. “My room is lonely. It’s lonely here, too, but it’s better than my room.” Poor Jane. She was so used to having a brother to annoy, now she has no one. She had Sarah before, yes, but it wasn’t a time for babysitting for neither the Morgans nor Sarah. Basically, no one was feeling okay enough to do much.

“I know,” Benny said. “You know, he cares- cared about you a lot. More than you think.”

“I know he cared,” she said.

“You don’t know how much, though,” Benny said. The memory may hurt him, but what was he to keep the detail away from her? “Before, you know, he said his last words. He wanted me to take care of you.”

Jane shook her head. “You’re just making that up,” she muttered.

Benny shook his head. “If I had to make something up, wouldn’t you think I’d praise myself?”

Jane giggled a bit, but then the action soon died down, and the place was silent. A few seconds, and she spoke again. “It’s really bad in here. I don’t envy him, but at least he doesn’t have to endure how things are in the house.”

“What do you mean?” Benny asked.

A bit of silence, then she said, “Mom and Dad wanted to get divorced a week ago. They still want to, and they’re making me choose who I get to live with.” Oh, if only Benny knew about this. “Last I saw Ethan, he was too surprised by the news, so he left the house. It’s not fair.”

That was why he looked so all over the place that day. He couldn’t blame Ethan for being like that the last week. “I’m so sorry,” Benny said, wishing he knew how to comfort a child who had lost her brother, and was probably not going to see one of her parents much from now on. But that still left a question that he wasn’t willing to voice: why divorce? What happened between them? Not like it mattered. It was just that they seemed so in sync and in love. But maybe that was all an act. Who knew?

Benny stayed for a few minutes, looking at the posters, the object thrown around the room, the console half-plugged into the socket, and finally, when he was ready, he said goodbye to Jane, took one last glance at the room, then left.

He felt like a big burden was lifted off of his shoulders, and maybe, just maybe he could do this. Maybe he could be brave for Ethan. Maybe he can, after a while, move on. Yeah, that sounded great. Things wouldn’t be back to normal, yes. He had a feeling he was going to be alone in the house a lot of the time, and senior year at high school was going to be harsh without any friends when he previously had four, but it was okay. Maybe.

He didn’t immediately go home. He started walking around, observing how the world was still the same outside of his own circle, how some families were having late night barbecues, how kids were playing field hockey, or football, how some girls were walking around in their groups, taking selfies and smiling. Everything seemed so normal here. Benny wished he was normal, or that he had a normal life, but that wasn’t what he was. He knew he had a role in the supernatural world. And hey, maybe being busy with it might take his mind off of things. And he could start with those bastards who killed his best friends. But maybe later.

He walked back home, back to the silent neighborhood. He was about five buildings, or rather houses, away from home, when he felt someone hold his elbow, and pull him aside. He panicked for a few seconds, worried that the hunters were back, ready to kill _him_. Despite having felt like he wanted to die seven nights ago, it was out of sorrow. But he still wanted to live.

Evaluating the situation, even through the darkness between the two houses, he could tell that there was only one person behind this, and not a group like the hunters were.

That hair, it was so messy, and it didn’t seem blond. A brunette perhaps? A redhead? And the height of the person, or rather the guy, made him remember … no, he was dead. It can’t be him. But the hoodie looked familiar to the one that Ethan had worn when he died. Maybe he was dreaming. He did have a lot of dreams about Ethan recently. Or maybe this was a ghost. But the grip felt too real. Ghosts felt different.

“B,” said the voice. Only two people called him that, and they both used to be his male friends. Benny felt like passing out. How was he here? He saw him die. It couldn’t be possible. “I’m scared to touch you. I feel like you’ll break.”

But Benny didn’t pass out. Benny hugged him. It was him. It felt like him. It was his voice. He talked just as awkwardly as he would sometimes in tough situation. He wanted to speak, but his throat was not his friend yet again. The shorter boy wrapped his arms around Benny hesitantly. It felt weird to hug. They’ve never hugged before – not like this. But this was different. This was the hug of two friends separated by a tragedy.

“I miss you, too,” Ethan said. It felt silent for a long time, and Benny didn’t want to move. Maybe letting him go will make him disappear. He didn’t realize his grip was getting tighter until Ethan gasped out, “Can’t,” a pant, “breathe.”

Benny loosened his hug, and then let go. He looked at him, at his face. It wasn’t that clear in the darkness, but he could make out that details of the face now that he knew who it was. “You’re alive,” Benny said, not believing his eyes.

Ethan tilted his head a bit. “Debatable.”

So many questions went into Benny’s head, but he ignored them right now. “Are you back for real?”

“I’ll explain to you, but after we go to your home,” Ethan said, lifting the hoodie on top of his head. “I really need a place to stay.”

Again, so many questions to ask, but Benny didn’t really want to argue. His friend was standing in front of him, and that’s all he could ask for. “Okay,” he said, and led him to the house. As he walked out of the shadow, Ethan’s hoodie still covered his face, but Benny could see him better. It was him. It was Ethan. He was alive.

Benny just hoped he wasn’t going to leave him alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy! Finally updating this fanfic! Are you ready for less angst and more answers? I hope so. I hope you’re not expecting a lot of angst. I don’t roll that way. If you know me well, you’ll find out I’m more on the lame jokes side. Yeah, boi. Also on the dead memes side.
> 
> I feel like I’m drifting away from the topic. Let us commence.

Benny had excused himself to go make some tea, but really, it was just an excuse to put some space between him and the boy who was back. He wanted to have a good look at him – to make sure that he really _was_ sitting in the living room.

And Benny wanted to break down at that moment. After all of that shock and sadness, now he just appeared out of nowhere. It was all too much for Benny.

As if Benny needed another thing to concern himself with, but it wasn’t reassuring to see Ethan come back, now looking at the living room floor, a neutral look on his face. He never, ever behaved like this. Yet again, Benny didn’t know what Ethan had gone through. Did he really die? Or did he fake it? Either way, it must have been horrible for him.

Benny looked at the water boiler, which gave a red light, signaling that the water was ready. He went to grab it, but he accidentally touched the hot metal part instead of the handle, and he cursed. It didn’t hurt that much, so he didn’t find a need to run water on it, but he still felt so horrible. Why was he so clumsy right now? Oh, right. Cause his presumably dead friend was in the living room.

This time, he made sure he gripped the handle, and not the metal. He poured the water into two mugs, dipped the tea bags inside, and went back to the living room, but slowly. He was scared that walking fast might make Ethan disappear, as stupid as that sounded.

Ethan’s head turned to Benny, and the shorter male offered a small smile, but Benny could tell it was forced. But he thanked the Lord that at least he got to see a smile from him again. Though the simple eye contact made Benny’s heart jump around. That was because, one, he was still about to break down from Ethan’s presence, and, two, he thought that his feelings for Ethan were intensifying with him here.

He put the tea on the coffee table, and sat down with some space between him and Ethan. He didn’t know why he was so scared of contact, or speaking. It was so weird of Benny to be this quiet.

From his peripheral vision, he saw Ethan taking the mug and moving the tea bag around, his eyes not leaving the mug. “I guess you have many questions,” said Ethan. Benny did, but his throat was still being a bitch to him. Just hearing Ethan’s voice, and feeling his presence made Benny hurt again for some reason. “Ask away.”

Benny opened his mouth to speak, but he figured that wasn’t a good idea. He closed his mouth, and cleared his throat. Good thing he did that because his voice was weird at first, but he felt better after that. He started by asking, “Are you back for real?”

Ethan didn’t speak for a bit, and Benny was scared that the answer was no. When he took the time to look at Ethan, he found that Ethan was actually putting on his thinking face. Why did he need to think? Was the answer really that hard? “Depends on me.”

“What?” Benny asked, confused.

Ethan rubbed his fingers on the lip of the mug, and said, “Well, I’m not a ghost, if you’re wondering. I am … kind of human now.” So, he _did_ die. Or at least he didn’t fake this. He knew his friend wasn’t that cruel! “I have a human body and all. But I have terms to staying. A month of trial, and if I pass, I can stay.”

“Terms? A trial?” Benny asked, taking his mug, too. He needed the tea to calm himself down. What the heck happened to Ethan?

Ethan offered a smile, but this one was out of amusement at Benny’s reaction. He could tell _that_ much. At least Ethan was okay. “Yeah. Terms.” He took a sip from the tea, and scrunched his nose. “Did you even put sugar in this?”

Benny closed his eyes and shook his head. “I knew I forgot something.” But he put on a small smile. “Hey, serves you right for making me suffer this much.” He got a laugh, and that oddly calmed him down. He went to the kitchen, and yelled out, “Anyway, onto the point. Terms. What about them?” He grabbed a few packets of sugar and two spoons, and brought them to the living room. He tore two packets open for himself, and stirred them in. Ethan did the same.

“I was told,” he said, and took a sip, now seemingly happy with the tea, “that I can come back from the dead if I do as they say.” He paused for a bit, and continued. “I can only make two people know about me for a whole month. Obviously, I chose you first.”

Benny was taken aback. He could choose anyone, and he picked Benny? That was … relieving, and also worrying. “You could’ve told your parents. Your mom is a mess without you. And your dad is so quiet these days. They deserve to know.”

Ethan shook his head. “I know that. But if I tell them, I might screw things up. I want some place to live in, and if I decide to stay at my parents’ house, I risk Jane finding out, and I could go back to Heaven again. I don’t wanna ruin my chances.”

Benny felt relief once again. So, Ethan went to Heaven. That was good. At least he was in a good situation in the afterlife. “So why choose me?” he asked.

“Well,” Ethan said, “your dad’s in your life now, right?”

Benny shrugged. “Barely. But he will be, I guess. He’s coming back on three days. Transferring to the Whitechapel branch or something. Why?” He connected the dots as soon as he asked the question. “Wait, you’re not thinking of telling him, are you?”

Ethan nodded. “Obviously. You’re only two guys in this house. I know it’s not like me to ask to stay and live here, but I need this badly. I have nowhere else to go.” Benny could see the desperation in Ethan’s eyes, and he had to admit that he sort of understood. “I wanna tell Rory, but that would be a bad idea. And I don’t wanna hide. I-” He shook his head, and didn’t even bother to continue his sentence.

“It’s okay,” Benny said. But Rory. There was his name again. He didn’t hate Rory, but Rory did certainly hate Benny. Though something else bothered the green-eyed teenager. “E, why did you tell Rory a lot of things, but you told me nothing?”

Ethan was avoiding eye contact at this point. “I’m guessing he told you everything.”

“There’s an everything?” Benny asked. He wanted to feel mad, and he wanted to feel something, but he felt nothing. He just knew that he was too surprised by all that has happened enough that he would forget about the little things Ethan had done.

Ethan bit his lip, and looked down, closing his eyes. He took a breath, then looked at Benny again. “I’m sorry. I know I should’ve told you a lot of my thoughts and issues, but I was too scared.”

“Why were you scared?” Benny asked, a bit of his frustration showing from his voice getting slightly higher.

If Benny needed confirmation of Ethan’s fears, he got one now. Ethan was looking at him with guilt, and he even winced when Benny spoke. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He lifted his mug to sip some more, but he put it down and got up. “Excuse me,” he whispered and left the living room to go to the bathroom.

Benny messed up. He messed up big time. Ethan had every right to not tell him everything, and Benny didn’t deserve any of Ethan’s trust.

* * *

Ethan didn’t dare look at himself in the bathroom mirror. He didn’t want to see his face, and he didn’t want to be here anymore. Why did he ever accept the offer? Why did he come back? He was so stupid. He should’ve stayed with his grandparents in Heaven.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub, and let himself breathe a little. He was being irrational right now. He didn’t want his old thoughts to consume him again. He came here for a second chance, and not to kill himself all over again.

Besides, Benny didn’t mean anything. He was probably not even that mad at Ethan. Maybe he was. Oh, it was so hard to get rid of those thoughts. He was stupid to ever think it was easy. He was probably going to lose Benny at this point. First, things got bad when he confessed his feelings, and now when he admitted to not telling Benny anything.

He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. He felt so empty on the inside. He felt empty like he did on the day of his death. Oh, how he wished he was back in Heaven.

No, actually, he didn’t. Heaven may be a nice place, but the things spirits, who were beloved by many, felt were tragic. All those screams, cries, pleads, and sobs still played in his head.

It was horrible. He remembered that he died minutes after being stabbed. He died way before the ambulance could show up, but he was only declared dead on his way to the hospital. But in the moments before he was taken away from his best friends, it was agony. He stood as a spirit beside his own body the whole time, watching Benny cry and hold his hands. He had never seen him cry before. He was always so strong. He was always level-headed. But there he was, his clothes soaked in Ethan’s blood, his hands shaking, and his face wet with tears. He was practically sobbing then.

Even worse was his mother. She did not sob. She screamed. And so far, her voice was the one that broke him the most when he had heard it. It was the sound of a mother who lost her son, and was desperate for him to talk to her at least one more time. And the funeral was horrible, too. He saw his body in a coffin, pictures of him put for everyone to see, shocked, grieving people all around with puffy eyes and black clothes. And he thought maybe he’d see Benny one last time there, just like he was with his family and the rest of his friends, but Benny never did. Because he lost someone close to him. And it was all Ethan’s fault.

Everyone was a mess. Even Erica – reserved, strong Erica – had cried over him in her private time. And he could still hear everything until now. Not because he had some weird supernatural side effect. No, it was just the haunting memories that replayed in his mind.

What had he done? Why was he so cruel to the people who loved him? Why was he so selfish?

Why did people even love him?

He gathered the courage to get up and leave the bathroom. He wasn’t feeling any better. In fact, he was feeling worse, but it didn’t matter, did it? He was always going to feel bad about himself.

Surprisingly, Benny wasn’t in the living room. He wasn’t anywhere in Ethan’s sight. Ethan felt so lonely, despite knowing that Benny was still in the house. He sat down on the couch, hugging his legs, and burying his face in them.

It felt like forever, but he knew only a few seconds had passed, before he heard footsteps on the stairs. He didn’t bother looking up. He didn’t bother considering what Benny was thinking right now. He felt a hand on his shoulder. “E?”

He didn’t feel like looking up, but he did despite what he wanted, and wasn’t really surprised when Benny reached for Ethan’s cheek and wiped it. He was crying. Benny hugged him, and Ethan rested his head on Benny’s shoulder. He started crying without even realizing it once again, but this time, he heard the sniffles, he felt his breaths get short.

“It’s okay,” Benny whispered, but his voice was cracking. “It’s okay,” he repeated. Something about his quiet voice calmed Ethan down. In around a minute, Ethan was calmed down, but that didn’t mean he felt better. He knew how much Benny was hurt, and it was clear in his voice. It was such a foreign concept. Benny, sad. Benny, broken.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, wrapping an arm around Benny. His short breath was getting in the way of him speaking properly, but he pushed through. “I didn’t mean to make you worried.”

Benny had rubbed Ethan in the back of his head, something Ethan had wanted to happen before he had died. He wanted to be held by Benny, kissed by him, treated like a boyfriend by him. But that never happened. Ethan had died alone and single. He hadn’t even had a first kiss yet. But at least he was being held by him right now. He was cared for and loved.

“It’s okay,” Benny said for the third time. “It’s my job to worry about you. You’re my … friend.”

Ethan felt kind of better. Kind of. He still didn’t know what to make of that sentence. Did Benny want to be friends, or did he want to be more than that?

“Today,” Benny said, still holding on to Ethan, “I spoke to you. You know, like I talked to your ghost. Or maybe not. Did you hear it?”

Ethan nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I can still hear when people want to talk to me.”

Benny chuckled. “Really?” he asked. He pulled away, and grabbed a tissue, wiping at Ethan’s face.

Ethan nodded. “Yeah. Stop being all emo next time.”

Benny laughed. It was the same laugh Ethan was used to. The laugh of genuine joy. So, Benny wasn’t all gone. “Hey, I lost you! You expect me to be cheerful?” Ethan smiled, and Benny did, too. It was a nice feeling. “Anyway,” Benny continued, “So I presume you also heard about…”

There was a pause from Benny’s side, and Ethan knew he was supposed to guess what Benny was talking about.  There were so many things Benny had mentioned. What could he- Oh! Ooooh! But he still didn’t want to say it. So, he acted dumb, just to hear Benny confess. “About…”

Benny sighed, and the continued. “About … me liking you.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Ethan said, a teasing smile appearing on his face despite how red it was. Oh, the perks of being white.

Benny shoved him gently. “Are you sure you didn’t come from Hell? Cause I can see a little bit of Satan in you.”

Ethan laughed out loud, taking his time to enjoy that statement. When he had finished laughing, he saw Benny’s joyous smile again. Was he really back to being the old Benny? He doubted it. Even Ethan was still the same, depressed mess. Despite that, he took his time to reply, and said, “So, you wanna give this a shot?”

Benny nodded. “Hell yeah. Dating a demon sounds cool.”

It was Ethan’s turn to shove Benny, and he didn’t go light on him. “Asshole.”

Benny gave a devious smile, before he realized something. “Hey, I don’t know how resurrection works, and if you still function like a human, but are you hungry?”

Well … “A bit,” he said. “It’s almost the middle of the night. It’s okay. I can get a snack from the fridge.”

“Hate to break it to you, but there is not much food in the fridge. Oh, well. Midnight pizza it is,” Benny said.

After they had eaten and joked around a bit, they both headed to the room. Benny seemed happy to have kept Ethan’s clothes because he proudly took a PJ out for Ethan, who had changed, and taken out the mattress so he could sleep. He noticed Benny sitting on his bed and staring at him very obviously.

“Why are you looking at me?” Ethan asked.

Benny raised a fist in the air. “You’re back!”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Dork.” He fixed his pillow, and said, “Good night.”

“Night!” Benny said in the same amount of enthusiasm as before. Oh, how was he going to sleep with this hyperness? Probably very quickly. Benny wasn’t one to take time to sleep.

Ethan closed his eyes, and had wanted to sleep. But then he heard a voice. A gentle female voice. ‘ _Hi, Ethan._ ’ Jane. ‘ _I can’t sleep. I felt I should talk to you._ ’

Ethan once again closed his eyes, but not to sleep. It was to see Jane. Once he did so, and opened his eyes, he saw himself standing in his room, his sister holding a stuffed animal and sitting down on his bed. Poor thing. She must be really lonely. ‘ _Are you doing okay up there? I hope you are. Mom said that after death, good people go up there. To Heaven. Are you in Heaven? You must be._ ’ He could see her lips trembling. Even a few days ago, she wasn’t able to hold herself well. He thought maybe she’d get over it. She didn’t. ‘ _Why did you have to leave? Mom also said that you were sad. Why were you sad?_ ’ She breathed out. ‘ _So many questions. You can’t even answer me._ ’ He saw her wipe at her eye. He wished he could be there for her. She was just a child. She needed somebody. But he had to wait. He had to wait a whole month. ‘ _This is the worst summer ever. But it’s okay. I actually want to go to school now. My friends are there. And I’ll keep telling you everything that happened. You must be lonely.’_ She seemed so sad. It was heartbreaking.

‘ _Anyway, I’ll talk to Mrs. Weir now. She must be lonely, too._ ’ A pause, and it seemed like a difficult one to take. _‘Bye, Ethan,’_ she said, and with that he was back to looking at the room, or rather a panicked Benny.

“Ethan! Oh, thank God you’re moving,” Benny said, and put his back against his bed, looking relieved.

Ethan sat up. “Wait, what happened?” Ethan asked.

Benny looked at Ethan and said, “I called you to tell you something, but you didn’t reply. You were just lying there were your eyes half-open for like a whole minute.”

Oh, that must have been creepy to experience. “Sorry. I was listening to Jane. She was talking to me. I didn’t even hear you.”

Benny nodded. “Okay, at least next time this happens to you, I know what’s going on. It’s still so weird.”

“Sorry,” Ethan said, giving an apologetic look.

“You’ve said that word like four times today already. Stop being so kind to an asshole like me,” Benny said.

“I’m glad you know your place,” Ethan said, smiling.

“Yeah, okay. Good night, Satan,” Benny said, lying down once again.

“Good night, moron,” Ethan said, and after a bit of difficulty, he fell into a blissful sleep. And it felt so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that? I guess this was a filler chapter, but there are more to come like this. There are many things that still need to be explained.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this. Please, I need feedback. Would be very much appreciated.
> 
> Until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back. I think. See, I’m trying my best to update, but it’s so hard when you’re busy every week. But I’m trying to write ‘cause I love doing this. And I’m glad you guys are enjoying my fics so far.
> 
> I’m so serious about this fanfic, I actually have a whole list of things not to forget to include. Hehe I’m excited. I hope you are, too. And I hope you excuse me for being inconsistent. I haven’t given up, I swear. You guys are cute and supportive.
> 
> Also, yes, so many filler chapters, I know, but the fanfic is basically at the beginning about the characters coming to terms with what’s going on. Things will get more well-paced later on.

When Benny woke up from his sleep, he did not want to get off of the bed. It wasn’t that he was tired and lazy. Well, he was, but his dreams replayed in his head for a while, and it took time for Benny to realize it wasn’t real. While he realized that Ethan was back, and here, in his house, his dreams just ignored last night’s events.

He remembered seeing Ethan sit down in a chair of a too fancy restaurant that the two of them combined probably couldn’t afford. They were wearing fancy suits that they would never consider buying, and they were eating overly small portions of food that was probably overpriced. He hated it. He remembered hating everything about the situation in the dream. Dream Benny felt uneasy. But just like that, the two were walking in the streets at night, with Benny holding a dog’s leash. A golden retriever – he’s always wanted one of them, he realized. Maybe this was an ideal world that Benny had created subconsciously. But the laughing in the dream, the smiling – it all came to a stop when Benny noticed drops of blood on the floor. He looked behind them, and there was a trail of red spots on the pavement. And when he looked up, there was no one around. He thought he was alone. That was until he noticed a body in the distance, and the shock of the dream had woken him up.

Strangely enough, he wasn’t dreaming about his grandmother. Oh, what was he talking about? At least his grandmother’s death didn’t traumatize him as much. She died peacefully. Ethan, on the other hand, had been _stabbed_ right in front of him. He was most likely trying to process what was happening. That’s all. He would never forget his grandmother, the person who took care of him all the years that his father was away in.

With all the strength he had in him, which wasn’t much, he sat up on the bed. Seeing the mattress on the floor brought more relief to Benny. Okay, so Ethan _did_ actually come back. Good to know he wasn’t going crazy. But Ethan wasn’t there, and the sheets were made. Weird. Ethan usually woke up around the time Benny did. Yet again, Benny thought he knew Ethan, but he guessed he didn’t. The change in routine might indicate a reveal in his personality. The guy held more dark thoughts inside than Benny wanted to admit. Or perhaps he was over-analyzing this. Yep, he was just being dumb.

Brushing the thought away, Benny headed to the bathroom. When he had gotten out, he decided to check on where Ethan was. It wasn’t a hard search, he found out. Ethan was in the kitchen, not cooking, but walking around, seemingly deep in thought. Benny was concerned, but he felt like he shouldn’t be. After all, Ethan was smiling. If anything, Benny should be glad things are okay.

“Morning,” he said, grinning. Ethan looked up, and mirrored the expression.

“Morning,” he replied back, and rushed to the fridge.

“What are you doing?” Benny asked as he approached the other male.

“Waiting for you until you come so I can start making eggs for breakfast. Be warned, I might burn your house down,” he said, taking out four eggs, and then heading over to the pan that was already on the stovetop. “Man, you need to get some stuff for the kitchen. The fridge is practically empty.” He pointed at Benny. “You’re going to get some stuff today. That’s your task.”

Benny chuckled. “Okay, Mom,” he teased.

“Please,” Ethan said. “If anything, I’m your-”

“Nope. Just stop there. This conversation is over,” Benny said.

Ethan laughed, and it was probably the best thing Benny had seen this week. With everything that had happened, he didn’t care if he was being made fun of, which was usually the case. He just wanted to feel joy, even if it was for a few seconds.

Sadly, the smile was gone, and Ethan began looking concerned. Strange how the tables have turned so quickly. “You seem really tired lately. It’s not like you. I’m kinda worried.”

Benny huffed. It was still obvious, huh? And he thought he was doing better. He guessed he wasn’t. “I’ve been tired this whole week.” He sat down on a stool, not feeling like standing anymore. “It’s like, I don’t even want to do anything at this point. I wanna sleep all the time.” He felt it was right to share things with Ethan now, even if things get cheesy. After what had happened, he figured that secrets were toxic.

Ethan nodded. “I know how you feel. That’s how I was like a week ago before … you know.” He bit his lower lip, then turned around to crack the eggs into the pan. “I should probably tell you this, at least. I know about your dreams.”

“Hm?” Benny asked, not knowing what Ethan meant.

“I told you last night, I’m still human, but not quite.” Benny wished he could see Ethan’s face, but he understood it if Ethan chose not to turn towards Benny. After the burst of emotions last night, they needed a break. “I still act like a spirit. Like you saw last night, my soul isn’t always attached to my body, and I can listen to whoever talks to me. What I didn’t tell you is that whenever you dream about me, I can see whatever’s … going on.” He glanced at Benny, but he looked away immediately. “Your dreams are like the number two most disturbing ones. You have a fucked up mind.”

He was surprised, but not as much as he thought he would be. To be fair, after what had happened the previous night, he didn’t find this shocking. “Wait, who’s number one?”

Ethan laughed again. It was nice to see the mood lifted again. “ _That’s_ the question you ask me?”

“Well, duh. Am I supposed to ask you a serious question? Who do you think I am – Sarah?” he replied back.

Ethan’s laugh turned into a smile, and then that disappeared as well. “Mom. She has the worst dreams.” He took a deep breath. “All I’m saying is that I understand if you feel tired. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.”

Benny chuckled. “What _I’ve_ been through? I don’t think it’s as significant as what you’ve been through.”

Ethan frowned at Benny. “Don’t say that. It’s that mentality that made me make that decision a week ago.”

Benny felt guilty. He shouldn’t have mentioned anything. He understood Ethan’s concern, and in no way did he mean to put his own feelings down, but he knew that this was a sensitive issue, especially since he was talking to a guy who deliberately wanted to die.

As Ethan put the eggs on two separate plates, Benny started to wonder a bit about Ethan. He didn’t know much about suicide and things related to it, but he knew that these thoughts rose from mental problems. Just how bad were Ethan’s? Was he okay? Was he still going through issues? Or did he get over them? He’d rather not ask right now. It was still a relatively all right morning compared to the ones he had had recently.

“Sorry,” Benny muttered, and took his plate.

He had thought that today was going to be awkward after that, but thankfully it wasn’t. They had eaten breakfast in front of the television after they had fought over which channel to watch. Benny eventually won, but Ethan didn’t seem to mind. The best part was getting back to routine of commenting on poorly written scripts and actually having fun with his best friend, now possibly boyfriend? Who knew? They need to have a date once at least, even if it was going to be in this house, with delivery pizza and greasy controllers in their hands. Oh, actually, that sounded fun.

Already, gears started to spin in Benny’s head about what he could do. He didn’t want to make this date into a normal everyday hang out, but his phone ringing interrupted his thoughts. He muted the television, and grabbed his phone. He frowned, and showed Ethan the caller ID. Someone was calling him through Ethan’s phone, which he had forgotten that it was probably with the Morgans now.

“Pick it up. Could be my parents,” Ethan replied.

Benny nodded, and answered the call. “Hello?” he asked, wondering what this was about.

“Hi! Benny!” It was Samantha, as he had guessed it would be. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“Oh, it’s okay, Mrs. Morgan. I was already up for a while,” he said.

“Okay, good,” she replied. “I probably freaked you out. I wanted to contact you, and I figured your number would be on Ethan’s phone.” A small moment of silence. He felt so bad for her. She was hurting so much, but he couldn’t say anything about her son’s resurrection. Even if he could, it already sounded so crazy. “We hired a lawyer recently, and he’s here right now in the living room. We figured maybe he could aid us in the investigation.”

“Okay,” Benny said, skeptic about this for a bit. “But is that really a good idea? I mean, lawyers will look into the logical side of the story, right? We can’t really tell him that there’s magic and vampires. Unless, you know, he’s involved.”

“I know,” she said, already sounding defeated. “But he’s our best shot right now. I just wanna find out who took away my son’s life. I wanna close this case, and I need your help. All you need to do is answer a few questions.”

Benny hesitated. This wasn’t an easy decision to make, especially since the victim of the case was hiding in his house. He would’ve immediately agreed if things were different, but it was hard to do that now. When he looked at Ethan, though, despite the fact that he was here again, it still wasn’t for certain. And hell yeah did Benny want to find out who that hunter was. Besides, the law would come in handy in this case. There technically wasn’t any supernatural occurrence happening during the crime. “I’m fine as long as he doesn’t press me too much.”

He heard a sigh of relief from the other side. “Okay, thank you. Well, whenever you’re done, you can come.”

“Sure. I’ll be there in five minutes,” he said, and after their goodbyes, he hung up.

“A lawyer?” Ethan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Wow, okay.” He looked at the ground, his mind probably thinking of a million things, then he looked at Benny. “What did Mom want from you?”

He scratched his head, and said, “To answer questions.” He hoped this wouldn’t cause trouble for Ethan. “I’ll try to be careful with my answers, okay? Don’t worry.”

“That’s making me worry, B,” Ethan replied, looking nervous. This was the one time Benny _needed_ to keep his mouth from spurting out things. He couldn’t screw this up.

* * *

After eating breakfast, Benny had changed, and had gone to the Morgans’ house. He felt his heart beat faster once he had laid eyes on the lawyer. He didn’t look scary or anything. Benny was just worried about himself being stupid.

After he had sat down and introduced himself to the lawyer, Mr. Andrews, he prepared himself mentally. One thing Benny was relieved by was Mr. Andrews’s softness in voice as he began to speak. He seemed calm and not very scary all of a sudden. “All right,” he began. “First and foremost, I don’t want to make you feel anxious, and I want you to be relaxed, okay?” Benny nodded. “One question before we start, may I record this?” Again, Benny nodded and gave a verbal agreement.

Mr. Andrews started off with easy, relatively non-sensitive questions, such as Benny’s relationship with Ethan, the duration of their friendship, and simple questions like that. Then the more straightforward questions came.

“Since you two seem to be very close, do you think Ethan might have told you everything?” Mr. Andrews asked.

Benny shook his head. “Definitely not.” From the amount of new information he kept finding out about Ethan, and the shocking state he had returned in, Benny believed there was more to the story than what Ethan had told him.

Mr. Andrews actually seemed shocked. His eyebrows were raised, and his lips started to part. “Let’s see. Well, I looked at your police interview from the night of the incident, and you said that it was almost as if Ethan wanted things to end. The answer implied, but did not confirm, that you knew about his chronic depression.”

“Chronic … depression?” Benny asked, feeling his hands shake slightly. His guilt came back despite the fact that Ethan was back. He should have been more careful about Ethan’s emotions that night. Benny might have been the last straw that night.

“So you don’t know about this,” Mr. Andrews said, a sigh coming at the end.

Benny shook his head. “No, I don’t,” he said, not wanting to look at Mr. Andrews in the eyes, but knowing that since he had to, he’d shift his eyes every few seconds.

“Okay,” he said almost carefully. Benny’s eyes subconsciously moved to see Ross and Samantha, who were even more surprised about Benny’s response than he thought. “Well, he was diagnosed after seeing a therapist. There is private information that she cannot provide, but his family knew prior to this about the diagnosis, plus him having suicidal thoughts. I suspected he’d tell you, but I was wrong.” After this, they moved on to the next question. While Benny answered the questions currently being asked to him, his mind was still hung up over what the lawyer said. Suicidal thoughts? Chronic depression? While he had suspected this, it was kind of scary to hear it being confirmed.

Oh, Ethan. Why did he have to make this tough on Benny?

* * *

As Benny walked back, he realized a very small part of him was angry. Not specifically at Ethan, but in general. Why didn’t he find out about this earlier? Why didn’t Ethan tell him? Was Benny this much of an asshole that Ethan didn’t want to tell him secrets to him?

But this horrible feeling, it all went away, and it was replaced with sadness and pity. Ethan must still be suffering. He didn’t know much about depression, but he did know that it wasn’t going to fade away this quickly.

He unlocked the door to the house, and stepped in, his heart beating, his body wanting to flee, trying to avoid confrontation. But that confrontation wasn’t going to happen, anyway. The TV was still on, but Ethan was sleeping on the couch in front of it. Benny’s body immediately let him to his room where he grabbed the blanket Ethan slept with, and laid it on Ethan. The shorter boy shifted in his sleep, but he didn’t wake up. _Phew_.

At least, this gave Benny some time to recollect his thoughts. Actually, he might as well take advantage of this moment to buy some things for the house. He looked at the fridge. It was almost empty, save for a few necessities. He checked the whole kitchen to look for things, but the things he found, he didn’t even know how to use them for cooking. He wasn’t good at home economics for a reason. He really needed to get something he and Ethan could make or snack on. Yes, they were going to order fast food like they usually did, but Benny was already starting to get tired from burgers and pizza. He’d been at home, snuggling in front of the TV or in bed, ordering food online just to fill in the void of loneliness. His bloodstream was probably cursing at him now.

He grabbed his phone, his wallet – which didn’t have much money, but it would do – and left the house quietly. He went to the nearest grocery store, and bought whatever caught his attention, like candy, chips, bacon, cheese, and such. He didn’t buy much by the end of it, which he expected to do, but it was good enough. When he returned back home, Ethan was still asleep. So he tip-toed to the kitchen, and tried to put the items where they belonged as quietly as possible.

When he was done, he realized he had nothing productive to do, so he spent his time playing mobile games on the kitchen counter, yes, _on_ it, until Ethan woke up.

Benny got off the counter, and put his phone in his pocket, waiting for something to happen. He didn’t know what exactly he was expecting, but he wasn’t exactly excited to talk at this point.

Ethan rubbed his eyes and looked around with half-lidded eyes. “B?” he asked, and then blinked a few times before he opened his eyes normally. “Were you sitting on top again?” he asked with a small smile.

“What?” Benny asked, pretending to be clueless. “No! I would never!”

“Sure,” Ethan said with a hint of a chuckle. He yawned, seemingly still sleepy. He looked down, as if noticing for the first time that he was half-covered in a blanket. “Oh, thanks.”

“It’s nothing. I had to muffle the snores somehow,” he said jokingly.

If Ethan wasn’t sleepy, he probably would’ve run after Benny just to punch him. But he was, and so he said, “Shut up, you jerk.”

Benny grinned like an idiot. Ethan would argue that he was. But that didn’t matter, because in this past week, Benny had felt so empty. Now, things weren’t the same at all, but he was still having light-hearted conversations with his … friend? Boyfriend? The guy he was dating? He didn’t know what they were yet.

Ethan’s smile disappeared, and Benny was concerned for a bit. “Um, so how did the thing with the lawyer go?”

Oh, that. Why did he have to talk about this? He didn’t want to, but it wasn’t good to stay quiet about it, either. “It went okay. He seems like a good lawyer.”

Ethan shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t care about that, honestly. I mean, what did they tell you?”

God dammit. Why did Benny have to befriend someone smart and straightforward? He hesitated. He didn’t know how to put it lightly and how to start this off. It wasn’t an easy topic to bring up.

“It’s okay. You can tell me,” Ethan said. “I know I hide a lot from you, and I lie a lot. I wish I told you before. I died regretting half of my life choices.” He rubbed his own arms, and gave a bitter smile. But it was gone as fast as it had appeared. “I’m a horrible friend. But I’m trying to be better. I’m given a second chance at life, and I’ll take advantage of that. I’ll start by being truthful for once.”

Benny felt like hugging Ethan, but he refrained from doing anything impulsive. “Okay,” he said. He sat down on the edge of the couch, which resulted in Ethan moving aside so Benny could sit. He did so, but after moments of thinking about this action. “Is it true? That you have really bad depression?” he asked. It had to be. He was diagnosed. But he wanted to hear it from Ethan. He got a nod, which made his throat form a knot. He next words came out shaky, and his voice cracked, but he didn’t care. He’d seen Ethan at his worst, so why shouldn’t Ethan see him at his worst? “You were suicidal.” Another nod. He took a deep breath to calm down and to stabilize his voice a bit. God, he hated confrontation. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve been there for you.”

Ethan was silent. He didn’t even look at Benny for a good few seconds. “I’m sorry,” he said. Ethan wasn’t a particularly small guy, nor did he lack in “manliness”, in the general sense, which Benny considered to be respect towards others and mental strength. But at the moment, he seemed so fragile, so broken. He wanted to do something, but he wasn’t sure what to do. “It’s just … depression is a bitch. I was really scared of telling you, and then you leaving me.” He bit his lip nervously, still not looking at Benny. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but depression never does. But you were the closest friend to me, and I was scared of anything bad happening.”

Benny didn’t feel like talking because he didn’t know what to say. But what if Ethan takes this the wrong way? Like his silence was a bad sign? “I understand where you’re coming from. I just hope you don’t hide things from me again.”

“I’ll try not to,” Ethan muttered. He finally looked at Benny in the eyes, and tapped the spot next to him. Since Benny was a bit far away, he scooted next to Ethan. “I wanna show you something. It’s a bit … disturbing, but you need to know.”

Ethan tugged at his sleeve, which just about now started to concern Benny since this was a long-sleeved one. He should have known something was up. A long-sleeved shirt in the summer? He swallowed, expecting something bad. And well, it was, but he was slightly relieved when the scene didn’t turn out as violent as he thought it was. As he had guessed, there were cuts in Ethan’s arms, which in itself made Benny want to hide. Not because he was disgusted. He just didn’t like the picture of Ethan grabbing something sharp and hurting himself. But thank God it looked like the cuts were healing. “This new body is a duplicate of my original one, so it has my cuts and bruises, minus the … last wound I got.” He gave an awkward look at Benny, and covered his arm again. “I stopped cutting a while back, I swear. My mom caught me one day, and did all she could to help me recover ever since. So did Dad and Jane. It’s mostly gone now, so I hope you’re not worrying too much.”

“I did at first,” Benny admitted. “But I’m fine.” He couldn’t wipe the concerned look on his face, though. “I hope you are.”

There was a pause. Then Ethan smiled. “I’m mostly fine. I still feel like shit most of the time, but I really am trying to recover.”

Benny grinned. “Yeah? I’m proud.” Ethan mirrored the look, and Benny wanted to stay like this, as in happy and around Ethan. But he shook his head. “Too much seriousness for one day. Let’s go play something on the computer.”

With no hesitation, Ethan said, “Sure!” He got up, and ran up the stairs, Benny behind him. Oh, how good it was to have things still going back to normal despite all that had happened today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! I was all over the place when I wrote it, just trying to make the scenes flow naturally, and I felt it was bad. Upon revision, it’s actually better than I thought. Yay!
> 
> Also, don’t know shit about law, but I tried researching a bit. If I did any mistakes, forgive me. Better yet, point them out. I always love hearing your feedback, anyway. Makes me happy.
> 
> Ummm, let’s see when the next chapter will be published. My schedule is HECTIC. But hey, I’m trying my best.
> 
> Until next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, schedule is a bit weird for me, but my passion for writing is still there. Admittedly, my passion for this story is dwindling a bit, so this story might not be so great. Can’t even estimate how many chapters I’ll write, too, and I’m not making any promises that I can’t keep.
> 
> But anyway, I still got some juices flowing, so let’s do it.

After days and days of sleeping and being lonely, it was refreshing for Benny to wake up, feeling like he was already getting used to Ethan being in the house. Maybe finally he can get rid of dark thoughts he was having.

Dark thoughts. Did Ethan use to think the same way Benny had been in the past week? Does he still have bad thoughts? Perhaps the real question was, how much worse did his mind have to endure?

Yeah, yeah. Benny knew. Ethan had told him multiple times not to worry, that he was much better off now, but Benny couldn’t stop empathizing with the guy. He needed to, as well, in order to at least try to be there for Ethan next time anything happens.

He looked down where Ethan’s mattress was. Ethan was asleep this time, unlike the previous morning where he had gotten up early just to cook breakfast. The morning, he was probably tired from last night. They had stayed up playing video games and goofing around until they started laughing their asses off. Of course, they had to limit as to how loud they could be. They could never be too careful with Ethan’s safety. Still, all that laughing and joking made them so tired that they had to head to bed earlier than they usually would.

Benny tip-toed his way through the room to get to the bathroom to prepare himself for the day, then again carefully went to the door so he can go downstairs to the living room.

He checked on his phone. One missed call from his dad. It was made an hour ago, probably when his dad realized it was too early for Benny to wake up at this time and gave up on calling the second time. Wise choice. Benny decided to give his dad a call back. The phone rang a few times before his dad picked up.

“Hi, Benny. How are you doing?” his dad asked.

“Hi. I’m doing fine, I guess,” he said.

His dad paused a bit before he spoke again. He could tell his dad felt bad for Benny. His dad might have lost a mother, but he still thought Benny was going through the grief of having lost two people. He would have been going through it if Ethan wasn’t here right now.

“Well, I have good news. Tomorrow will be my last day of work in here. I’ll be transferring to the Whitechapel branch next week. You can expect me by tomorrow night.” That was indeed good news. At least Benny didn’t have to barely survive off of pizza while his dad was here. He thought so, anyway. He’d have to tell Ethan to mentally prepare, too.

“Great. Though don’t expect the house to be clean when you come back. It’s kind of a mess,” Benny said.

Benny’s dad chuckled. “Okay, fine. You’re cleaning it up after I come back. You’re not slacking off while I’m there.” Benny couldn’t help a smile. He missed his dad. Despite feeling neglected by him _a lot_ , he couldn’t bring himself to hate his dad. “Hey, have you been practicing, _you know_.”

“You mean magic?” Benny asked.

“I mean, yeah, but I’m at work, so…” Oh, that’s why he didn’t say the word directly. He kind of forgot his dad still had to work even though he was being transferred.

“I haven’t,” he said. Ever since a week ago, he couldn’t bring himself to practice spells, and with his grandma’s death, he felt like there was no one to aid him with magic.

“It’s okay. When I come back, I’ll help you as much as I can, all right?” he asked.

“Sure,” Benny said.

With that, Benny’s dad decided to end the conversation and get back to work. They said their goodbyes, and Benny was back to the silence of the house.

By the time Ethan woke up, Benny had done nothing productive. He just ate cereal then looked at memes on his phone.

“Rude,” Ethan said, “I woke up yesterday and cooked breakfast for you, and you repay me by sitting down and looking at your phone?”

“Hey, in my defense, I don’t wanna burn down the house. Besides,” he pushed the cereal box and milk carton towards Ethan, “I took those out for you. Aren’t I great?”

Ethan cracked a smile. “Wow, you worked so hard.” He sat down anyway and ate the cereal, seeming too sleepy to actually get up and pull some effort to prepare breakfast. Understandable.

“By the way,” Benny said, his mind going back to his dad. “Expect Dad to come tomorrow night.”

“Already? I thought he would take a few more days,” Ethan said. “Not that I’m complaining. The earlier he knows what’s going on, the better, but I guess I’m just shocked.”

“Don’t worry. He’ll be understanding. I hope,” Benny said.

“Oh, I know your dad. I’ve talked to him when he comes over weekends. He’s pretty cool. I’m just worried how he’ll take it. I mean, resurrection? That’s even a bit far-fetched for me. And _I’m_ the one who’s been through it,” Ethan said.

Benny nodded. “When you say it that way, it sounds absurd.”

Ethan had finished his cereal by then and had gone to wash his bowl. When he was done, he stood in front of Benny, pointed at him, “You can do it, though. You’re the master of letting down stories gently. I mean, you’re the master of lying, too, but we don’t talk about that.”

“Says the liar,” Benny said, which earned him a chuckle.

“I know _that_ ,” Ethan said as if he wanted to add a ‘duh’ at the end.

The rest of the morning was spent in light conversations. Noon was soon to come, and Ethan suddenly had his serious face on. “Benny, I need to tell you something. It’s kind of like,” he paused, thinking of the right words, “my dying wish.”

“What?”

“Listen, like I told you, I was brought back, not as a human, but as a spirit, kind of. I might not even make it past this month of trial that I have. And if I go, at least I want some things to happen. This is a chance for me to make things right. I have so much unfinished business. At home, and with you guys, as in my friends, everything’s a mess. I don’t wanna leave this world like I did last time – in chaos,” he said. Benny could tell that the topic was getting emotional for Ethan, but he was impressed how Ethan kept his calm.

“I have some things that I need to do myself, and I’ll get into that in a second, but I need _you_ to do some things for me,” Ethan said.

This felt so final, for some reason. Like if he doesn’t do what Ethan asked, he’d feel like such a letdown. “Yeah, of course.”

“Well, I had some issues with my family the past few days I was actually alive in,” he said. His words were so hesitant. Benny knew how much Ethan loved his family, and how much they loved him. “My parents are getting a divorce, and I can’t do anything about that, but at least I want my parents’ mind to be at ease. If I go again, tell them what happened to me was not their fault. It was no one’s fault but mine.”

Benny nodded. “I will. But what happens if you stay?”

“If I stay, I’ll tell them in person,” he said, a hopeful look surfacing. “And I’ll try my best to stay.”

Benny held Ethan’s hands. “Please.”

Ethan laughed. “I said I will. Jesus Christ.” Good thing, this time, his smile didn’t completely disappear. Good. He looked better with a smile. “Either way, we’d have to wait to tell my parents anything. But here’s something you can do now, which I much prefer you do. Make things right with Rory.”

“Oh, no,” Benny said. “He’s not talking to me.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me you’re not fixing your relationship with your other male friend … just because he doesn’t want to talk to you?” The way Ethan said that made Benny want to laugh, but he stopped himself. “No, bitch. You’re doing it.”

“Oh, come on!”

“My dying wish, Benny. This is my dying wish.” He was serious again, which made Benny feel instantly guilty. “I really can’t leave while you two are still fighting. And if I do leave that way, you’re gonna spend your senior year alone. Sarah and Erica graduated. I’d be dead, and Rory won’t speak to you. Do you really want that, Benny?”

No, he didn’t. He didn’t want to be alone. Never again. Ideally, he wanted to go to school with Ethan by his side, and Rory, too. But if he wanted to make that happen, he needed to talk to Rory.

“Well, how am I supposed to do this? Call him? He’ll never pick up,” Benny said.

“No, don’t call him,” Ethan said. “Go to his house.” Benny sighed. “Please. For me.”

“What do I get out of this?” Benny asked.

“Umm, a kiss?” Ethan suggested. “And … friendship!”

“Just a kiss? No, we need a first date,” Benny said. “I don’t wanna go outside or anything. That’s dangerous for you. I wanna do something in the house, before Dad arrives.”

Ethan nodded. “Okay. Won’t complain. I like the idea. But right now, change your clothes. You need to go.”

For a second, Benny wanted to get up, and he had partially supported his body with his arms to get his butt up from his seat, but he realized something. “Wait! You still didn’t tell me what you needed to do,” he pointed out and let himself sit again.

“Oh, right,” Ethan said, seemingly having genuinely forgotten about that part. “Well, this’ll sound risky and dangerous, but I _have_ to do it. It was one of the rules I needed to follow in order to stay, but I didn’t want to freak you out on the first day.” Benny motioned for Ethan to continue. The brown-eyed boy started to fidget. He was nervous. “I kind of have to … deal with the hunters that killed me.”

“What?” Benny asked. He wanted to add _‘Are you crazy_?’ but this wasn’t Ethan’s fault. This was a rule he had to follow, and he probably was desperate to get back. “If you deal with them, they’ll see you!”

“Not necessarily,” Ethan said. Was there hope after all? “Well, see how I mentioned I was resurrected but as a spirit?” he asked, squinting his eyes in what looked like worry. Benny hesitantly nodded. “I … kind of have some spirit abilities.”

“Abilities like … what?” Benny asked, unsure where this was going.

Ethan seemed to be having a hard time getting his words out, perhaps because this sounded crazy _and is crazy_. “I can make like a ghost and … disappear.”

“What?” Benny asked, kind of not expecting this and kind of feeling stupid because _duh_. That was kind of obvious when Ethan explained the spirit part. “Okay, you gotta show me.”

Ethan shook his head. “Not now. I know you’re in shock, and I kind of threw this on you, but I _really_ need you to go now.”

Benny pursed his lips. “Fine. But you owe me my sanity back, Morgan!”

* * *

Not only was Benny recovering from the information he just got on Ethan, but it was nerve-breaking standing in front of the Keaners’ house, patiently waiting for someone to get to the door. Thankfully, Benny was met with Mrs. Keaner, which was a good thing because she didn’t seem like she wanted to kick him out of the house. In fact, she seemed very inviting.

“Oh, hello, Benny. I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you here to see Rory?” she asked, her enthusiasm and energy still there, though it was dulled down, probably by the grief her son was feeling these days.

“Hi, Mrs. Keaner. Yeah, I’m here to see Rory. I know he doesn’t wanna talk, but it’s really important,” he said.

“Oh, trust me, Benny, even if it wasn’t, I would have forced him to talk to you. He has a kind heart, anyway, and, well, he loves me too much to say no,” she said. Oh, how Benny admired Rory’s relationship with his mother. Benny wished he had something similar with his dad. “What are you doing standing there? Come in.”

She led him to Rory’s room, and knocked on the door. “Rory, sweetie. Benny’s here. He wants to talk to you.”

“Just a second!” he said. Truly, in just a second, he was by the door. Probably used his vampire speed to get there so quickly. He looked at Benny for a second, then down at the floor briefly, and then he opened the door for Benny to come in.

“If you boys need anything to eat or drink, tell me,” she said.

“Okay, Mom,” Rory said, and then let Benny into the room. He closed the door behind and spoke to him for the first time in five days. “Didn’t expect you to come over.”

He didn’t think he’d come either, but here he was. “Yeah, I know you’re mad at me, but-”

“About that,” Rory said, already looking apologetic. “I’m really sorry. I was mad, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I really don’t blame you for anything.”

“It’s okay. I just wanted to come here to talk again. High school’s gonna be pretty lonely if we don’t work out our problems.”

Rory nodded and sat down on one side of the bed. Benny followed him. “Yeah, it will.” It was so strange, seeing Rory so sad. He wasn’t smiling anymore these days. Everything felt so wrong. “I miss him.”

Benny would, too, if Ethan wasn’t secretly living with him. Like Ethan said, Benny was a master at lying, and this was a time that he had to lie. “Me, too.” He fidgeted with his hands. “So, did the Morgans call you? They hired a lawyer, and I kind of got you involved.”

Rory nodded. “Yeah, they did. It’s okay, though. I wanna help them. You obviously didn’t know a lot of things about Ethan. I didn’t even realize that. I thought Ethan told you about his mental health. I guess that put things into perspective for me. That and the fact that you … saw what happened.”

Benny nodded. “Yep. That sucked a lot.”

Rory cracked a smile, but it didn’t last long. This kind of reminded Benny of himself before Ethan came back. “I see you’re doing much better this week. Your dad coming back?”

Benny nodded. “At least now I won’t be alone at home anymore.” That and the fact that he hadn’t been alone for a few days.

“That’s good.” Awkward silence. It wasn’t normal for them to talk about serious stuff. They usually talked about Star Wars, video games, and anything geeky. This seriousness was not in their friendship dynamic unless they were fighting monsters and creatures. “I’m really glad you came. I wouldn’t have gone to you, to be honest, and I don’t think Ethan would have wanted us to fight after he’s gone.”

“No, he wouldn’t have,” Benny said.

“Oh!” Rory said, his eyes lighting up. Ah, there he was. “We should hang out one day. You, me, and the girls. It’ll be fun!”

Benny needed time to process this as it was so sudden. “Sure?” He blinked twice.

Rory laughed. “Sorry I scared you.”

“It’s okay, Rory. Just don’t do it again. Some of us still have human brains.”

“Hey, I have a human brain!” Rory protested.

“You get my point!” Benny said, a bit frustrated, but kind of enjoying this.

The rest of their conversation was useless nonsense, just like they were used to. There may not have been that cheerfulness they once had, but it was still better than them not talking to each other.

Rory had asked Benny if he’d like to stay and have lunch here, but Benny couldn’t agree to that. He wanted to spend time with Ethan, but he wasn’t going to say that to Rory. “The house is kind of a mess, so I need to clean it up or Dad’s gonna kill me.” Lies. He wasn’t ever planning on cleaning the house because he was lazy and he hadn’t really messed up the house as much as he said he did. Plus, his dad wouldn’t kill him, or get mad at that.

“Oh, okay. Say hi to your dad for me when he gets back. And tell him we’re not even in Mario Kart.”

“Dude, everyone beats you in Mario Kart. Get over it! You suck!” Benny said.

Rory motioned for Benny to leave in his moment of embarrassment. “Just go! We’ll talk later about this and about how you’re wrong.”

Benny covered his mouth to stop his mocking laughter, said his goodbye, then left to go to his house.

* * *

Once Benny was out of Rory’s house, he went to the grocery store to buy some things for tonight. He was thinking of Ethan, of course. Despite the disturbing information on Ethan’s mission here, he still felt like he should be happy about the date tonight. And when he came home, he didn’t press Ethan on the matter at all, and instead resorted to talking about what happened with Rory.

Benny was very excited for night to come. He had a simple date planned, but he knew Ethan would love it. Benny wasn’t particularly into romantic gestures like giving flowers and chocolates. He was more into silly meaningful things, such as getting an action figure, making something himself, or anything like that. And he knew Ethan liked him for being the dork he was.

“So, do I have to dress up nice?” Ethan asked, grinning as Benny grabbed his hand and led him downstairs.

“Did you even look at me? I’m wearing PJs just like you are!”

“But you still didn’t tell me what we’re doing.” They descended the stairs. Benny could feel Ethan getting excited. He opened the kitchen door. “Oh, my God. We’re making dinner?”

“Yes. I know you like to yell at me when I don’t know how to cook,” Benny said, rubbing his hands together.

“But that won’t be fun for you!”

“Any sort of attention, I take. Plus, I actually love it when we cooked in home ec. I can say this confidently: we have the most fun cooking,” Benny said.

Ethan nodded. “I mean, true. Though, no wonder people had always suspected we were a couple. We did act very gay in … every class.”

Benny grinned. “Well, let’s start, I guess. We’ll make baked chicken I guess ‘cause that the only thing dinner-worthy that I found nearby.”

“Okay, can you make prepare the sides, then?” Ethan asked, taking the non-chicken items to the side, which earned him a nod from Benny. Ethan took the chicken and _tried_ to remember how to cut the meat up.

Benny grinned. Yep, this was the Ethan he knew in home economics. Actually, this was the Ethan he knew in every situation. Ethan was apparently smart enough to do the more important tasks, and Benny was the idiot. Well, who was Benny to judge? He was, indeed, not as smart as Ethan was on so many levels. But he wasn’t going to feed Ethan’s ego. He may have depression, but that didn’t stop him from acting cocky sometimes.

And so, Benny made the sides, which was easy since there weren’t many things he had to deal with. When he was done with most parts, he helped Ethan with the chicken. He’d make stupid mistakes every once in a while, which earned Benny an elbow instead of a slap since Ethan’s hands were covered in chicken juice. “Can you not get close to me with your stupid? We need to eat, man! We’re not gonna if you keep acting like a child.”

Benny laughed. “You’re so mean! I love it!” Ethan gave Benny a side stare, which just sent the boys into a fit of laughter. The stupidest things were funny to them when they were together. Which is why this was a great idea. Benny hoped.

And indeed it was. Between Benny pretending to be dumb, and Ethan giving up and doing the same, it turned out to be a competition on who can put up a better act of being stupid. Needless to say, Benny won. By the end of it, they got an all right chicken. When they were done, and they had washed their hands, and the plates, and the items they used in cooking, they shared a brief kiss in the kitchen.

Anyone watching from afar would think this was cute. What they wouldn’t catch were the sexual innuendos and the extremely crude jokes.

For the whole day, Benny forgot that Ethan even mentioned the fact that he could literally disappear. Everything felt so normal. And Benny hoped that Ethan felt happy on the inside. Not just for today, but for the rest of his existence. He wanted him to know, despite the mental challenges that he was still probably facing,  _I do care._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, cute chapter, and all. Though, I’d like to thank MBAV fan66 for giving me some help. You the bae! I might have changed it from what I had discussed, but that’s how writing goes! Things go unplanned. 
> 
> This fanfic will be waaay shorter than I thought. And as you can tell, shit’s about to go down. Hehe.
> 
> Leave a review/comment, my dear Fanfiction/AO3 readers. 
> 
> Until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> I feel like I have a clearer idea for this chapter, though I don’t know how thing will go with later chapters. We’ll see.
> 
> Let’s just jump into it! (Philly D fans, don’t come for me.)

Mentally preparing himself for what’s about to happen, Benny greeted his father in the garage. His father, at that point, was by the trunk to get his suitcases, but once he had seen Benny, he neglected that task for a quick _hi_.

“Mind helping me with my stuff?” his father asked.

“I can help,” Benny said, taking a very heavy suitcase inside the house.

Before his father could come in, Benny looked around the place to make sure Ethan hadn’t gotten out of the room. Well, Benny couldn’t guarantee anything, even if Ethan had promised to stay inside. After all, Ethan _did_ say he could just … disappear if he wanted to. He could be here for all Benny knew. Still, he gave Ethan more credit than that, and assumed he was still inside Benny’s room.

“Wow, the place is cleaner than I thought,” his father said, carrying the rest of his items. “You feeling better now?”

Benny nodded. He still felt like crap because, well, his grandmother was gone, and even with all the good news with Ethan, it still hurt to have someone who immensely cared about him leave all of a sudden. That didn’t mean that he was going to beat himself over it.

Speaking of dead people, which Benny thought was such a grim thought for a seventeen-year-old guy, he needed to talk to his dad about the situation. Probably not this quickly, though. His dad needed to get settled.

They both went upstairs to the master bedroom to put the bags there, and the whole time, Benny hoped Ethan wouldn’t be making any sounds _if_ he was truly in Benny’s room. Turns out Ethan wasn’t the biggest worry because, apparently, Benny was acting suspicious.

“You okay?” his dad asked. “You were looking at your room’s door for a long time.” He crossed his arms. “Are you hiding something? Did you practice spells you’ve never tried before?”

Benny froze. What should he say? Well, he couldn’t take his time replying. He had to say something. He’ll go with his guts. “Yep.” He hated himself.

“Benny, that’s so irresponsible. With your lack of practice, anything could go wrong. Well, at least you don’t practice black magic, so that’s a relief. You might have raised the dead or something. I mean, you’ve tried before with…” _Ethan_. A week ago, he would be broken over that sentence, probably going silent as he contemplated the worth of his life without his best friend around. Now, he didn’t bat an eye.

“Yeah, wouldn’t wanna do that. Don’t worry. Nothing bad happened. I just tried the…” He pretended as if he didn’t remember what spell he had tried when in reality, he was trying to come up with something. “The stain removing spell.” Well, he did practice that spell before because of multiple incidents with ketchup, soy sauce, and mayo, but his father didn’t know that.

“Okay, just don’t burn down the house. That, we can’t fix by magic. Even if we did, the neighbors would notice,” his father said, smiling.

Benny chuckled. At least the air wasn’t carrying a vibe of seriousness anymore.

“I’ll go change and rest. I’m tired from the drive. I’ll be down in … half an hour.”

Benny nodded. He left his father to rest after that, and he headed to his room. He closed the door behind him and looked at Ethan, who was sitting on the bed, tapping his feet on the floor. “So?” he whispered, careful not to be loud.

“He just came. I’ll tell him when he’s settled in,” he whispered back.

Ethan nodded. “Okay.”

Benny sat next to him. “You’re nervous,” he said, pointing at Ethan’s foot taps.

Ethan stopped doing that once he noticed it. “Well, obviously. I don’t know how your dad’s gonna react to ‘hey, my friend came back from the dead’. It’s kind of absurd.”

“Ouch, I’m friend-zoned now?” Benny asked, putting a hand on his chest.

“Shut up, idiot,” Ethan said with a hint of a smile.

In around twenty minutes, Benny excused himself to go down, and told Ethan to stay until Benny would come in and tell him to join him downstairs. He left Ethan and headed to the living room, waiting anxiously for his dad. He couldn’t wait to tell him everything, and not because he was excited, but rather because he couldn’t hold in this information. He was scared to tell it, yes, but he needed to get it done.

In five minutes, his dad came. Benny had spent his time on the phone during that time, and the moment his saw his father, he put his phone away. His dad was dressed in more comfortable clothes, though his hair was still as neat as it was when he had arrived.

First thing he did was head to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and frowned, then closed it, going through the cabinets. Benny was truly his father’s son. They had the same kitchen habits. “Did you eat breakfast?” he asked Benny.

“Just cereal,” he said.

His dad nodded, then grabbed some crackers and came to sit on the couch with Benny. He turned on the TV, and noted, “You never sit in the living room. Not unless you’re called here. You okay? And don’t lie to me.”

Benny contemplated what to say, trying to ease in the conversation as much as he can. “Not really. Though, like I said, I’m getting better.”

“Yeah?” he asked, lowering the TV volume. “Did your friends come over?”

Well, technically. “One of them did.”

“Keaner?” he asked.

Benny shook his head. “You might not believe me,” he said, noticing that he was fidgeting with his hands. He didn’t care enough to stop himself from his nervous habits, unlike Ethan who would stop immediately.

His dad knitted his eyebrows. “Are you talking about Ethan?” he asked. Benny nodded, squinting in fear of what might happen. “I get it. It’s hard. You’re grieving. My mother, Ethan – they’re with us, even if we can’t see them or be with them.”

Why didn’t Benny expect this? Of course his dad was going to think this way. Anyone sane would. It was already crazy enough for Benny. “No, Dad. I don’t mean it that way. Ethan _is_ here in the house. Not spiritually.” Well, he kind of was, but not completely. “Like, physically.”

His dad put his fingers on Benny’s forehead, which made Benny lean back a little. He knew his dad wouldn’t believe him. “I think you need to talk to a therapist.”

Benny sighed. “I’m not delusional. I’m not going crazy, and-”

“Never said you were,” his dad defended.

He couldn’t take this. He couldn’t go back and forth. “I’ll bring him here. And I promise, I had nothing to do with it.” He got up and headed to the stairs. “Didn’t raise the dead!”

He heard a defeated “fine” from his dad. In a hurry, he opened the door and told Ethan, “He doesn’t believe me. But I’ll bring you to him, anyway.”

Ethan nodded. “I wouldn’t believe you, either,” he said, getting up. “And I’m the one you’re talking about.”

Benny chuckled, and motioned for Ethan to follow. Ethan silently walked behind Benny, closing the door on his way out. As he reached a point in the stairs where he knew his dad would see them, he slowed down. His father had turned around, at first looking neutral as always, but his eyes widened, and he didn’t do anything for a good five seconds. Then he got up as the boys went down the stairs. Benny turned to look at Ethan, who seemed nervous.

“You’re alive?” he asked in disbelief. “I thought you were dead. I came to your funeral. I saw your – your body.”

“Yeah, about that…” Ethan said hesitantly. “I’m not exactly alive.”

Benny’s father let out a deep breath that he must have been holding for a little while. “Well, I guess that details don’t matter now. Did you tell your parents, Ethan?” he asked, coming towards the boys, putting his hands on Ethan’s shoulders. “They need to know.”

Ethan shook his head. “No. I didn’t tell them. I have no choice, Mr. Weir.”

“What do you mean?” The worry, the fear – they were now gone and replace by confusion in Benny’s father.

“Dad,” Benny spoke. “Give him some air to breathe. He’ll explain to you.”

“It’s okay,” Ethan whispered.

It took time for Benny’s father to process what was happening, and to let Ethan’s explanation set in. He was on the couch, crossing his arms, his eyebrows knitted. He sat in silence for a while. It was a lot to take in, so Benny didn’t even blame his dad. His face softened a bit. “Well, other than _shocked_ , I feel glad you’re back. Benny needed some company in the house. Even if I wasn’t here,” he said, the muscles of his cheek twitching, meaning he was probably not happy about being absent, “someone was.”

Ethan smiled. “Tell me about it. _I’m_ glad I’m back.”

Benny’s father nodded. “Though it’s odd. Resurrection doesn’t happen a lot. In fact, there’s been three written cases of spellcasters coming back. But that’s about it.” He was back to looking tense, probably worried for Ethan’s situation. He was a _human_ , unlike Benny and his dad, who attended school and hasn’t even lived to his twenties yet. He was young, and he had his whole life ahead of him. For all of their sakes, hopefully Ethan can last this month. It might be hard since he has to do his task with the hunters. Still, if anyone can do it, Ethan can. “I bet you’re special.”

Ethan inhaled. “That’s a lot of pressure. I don’t like being special.”

Benny laughed, which made Ethan’s worried expression to turn into one of amusement.

“Can I ask you something?” Benny’s dad asked. Ethan responded with a nod, which prompted Benny’s dad to say, “What happened after death?”

“Well, I was in Heaven, I suppose. I saw people grieving over me.” His eyes darted to the floor. “But I guess the good part was, I saw my dead relatives. And, for a brief moment, I got to see Mrs. Weir. Your mother, I mean.”

“You did?” Benny asked, not believing he didn’t know about this. But again, he didn’t blame Ethan. It was probably hard to talk about what happened to him after he died. Even to Benny, it was a sensitive subject. No, especially to Benny. It was good that they were able to talk about normal things in the past few days, but talking about what happened last week wasn’t great.

He nodded, still looking unhappy. “She says hi to you guys.” He looked at Benny. “She was really worried about you. She wanted me to let you know that she loves you. She didn’t get the chance to tell you.” Ethan told Benny’s dad what Evelyn had also said, but Benny had zoned out during that part. It really hit him then how much he missed his grandmother. Even if the house had two other people in it now, it still felt kind of lonely without her.

“-guess that I’m sorry about her death.” Benny focused in time to hear Ethan say that.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Ethan. You had nothing to do with this,” Benny’s dad said.

“But I did,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Benny asked, not realizing that he was clenching his teeth.

“When I was offered life again, I was told that it would be a life-for-a-life situation, and that I _needed_ to come back. That many people would die if I don’t do anything about the hunters. So, I agreed. I didn’t know she’d die because of it. I was being selfish, and I didn’t think about the consequences.”

There was silence between the three men until Benny’s father spoke. “That’s a lot to take in. I’m not angry at you, though, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he assured.

Ethan’s eyes went to Benny’s, who, admittedly, was not feeling completely happy with this new knowledge. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” he asked.

Ethan looked down at something. Benny was confused at first, and betrayed. He knew he wasn’t acting properly in front of a guy who probably still had mental issues, but he wasn’t being rational at that moment. He just wanted answers. To what? He didn’t know. Benny shifted his eyes to look at whatever caught Ethan’s attention. Benny had his hand in a fist. This probably was why Ethan looked scared, now that Benny noticed.

“I wanted to tell you when your dad was here,” he muttered.

Benny let go of his fist, and diverted his attention to Ethan, but soon noticed his dad’s angry expression. It wasn’t directed at Ethan. No, it was for Benny. _Enough_ , he mouthed.

It truly was enough.

* * *

The day was gloomy for Ethan. Instead of the usual banter Ethan had with Benny, there was awkwardness in the air. He knew he should’ve left the whole topic with Evelyn alone. Benny probably hated him. It’s why he wasn’t talking to Ethan.

Again, he felt lonely. The times where he felt lonely included the last days of his _life_ before he had died, and in the afterlife. He could have chosen a lot of people, including older cousins who lived alone, but he chose Benny. He thought since Benny seemed like he missed Ethan, he’d probably let him back in his life. He guessed he was wrong. Why would Benny want him anymore?

After dinner, a brief time was spent in the living room, the TV turned on. Benny and his dad were on their phone, and Ethan was left watching the boring shows that were on. If only he had his phone. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t have it. He couldn’t communicate with anyone but the two Weirs this month. If only this month would pass by faster.

Benny had excused himself to go to his room. “Are you coming?” he asked Ethan.

As much as Ethan didn’t want to be alone with Benny, he also didn’t have anything to do in the living room. “Sure,” he muttered, and got up despite not wanting to. The two boys went upstairs and then upon reaching Benny’s room, Ethan closed the door out of habit – not because he had a desire to be alone with Benny.

“E, I’m sorry,” Benny said first thing. “I know I didn’t say anything, but I did react badly. So, again, sorry.”

Ethan didn’t expect an apology. He expected Benny to be still mad at him, but he guessed that may not be the case. Still, he could be saying this out of manners, not because he felt sorry.

“It’s okay,” he said.

Benny sighed. “I can tell you don’t believe me.” He took one of Ethan’s hands. “I’m an inconsiderate idiot. Forgive me.” He offered a smile.

It always worked. That smile always cheered Ethan up. “Fine. Only because you called yourself an idiot. That’s why I’m forgiving you.”

Benny laughed. “Good.” Their smile and laughter died down, and before Ethan knew it, Benny was getting closer. He was leaning in for a kiss. A few seconds ago, Ethan would have probably punched Benny or pushed him away. Now, it was a no-brainer. He wanted to kiss him. And so he did.

But the universe had bad timing. After pulling apart from the kiss, the moment was ruined by a vision. It was good knowing his visions still worked, but this was the worst time to get one. Especially after what he saw.

_The hunter who had killed him was talking to his friends. They wanted to finish what they started. They were going after Benny._

Ethan blinked and found himself back to reality. He was panting, though, just as he would sometimes after a vision.

“Whoa,” Benny said. “You okay?”

Ethan shook his head, his breathing back to normal. “The hunters – they’re coming for you.”

If he’d known Benny was still going to be in danger, he would never have sacrificed himself. So, he died for nothing? He almost wanted to laugh. He ruined his own life for a bunch of liars who were going against their word. He should have known. They’re despicable.

He had failed at protecting his best friend. Even worse, he made him suffer and grieve and cry. Ethan caused Evelyn’s death for something that he could have avoided.

He truly failed. And he was never going to forgive himself for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That ended more quickly than I had hoped, but it felt fitting.
> 
> Well, dropped a bomb on you guys, and I’m putting some suspense, some drama. Despite the chapter being short, I’m actually happy with it.
> 
> As always, leave me feedback. I love hearing from you guys. It keeps me going.
> 
> Until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, way different than what I wrote before. Given, lots of things didn’t change, but my logic had gotten better, arguably.  
> Thank you guys for reading *sweats, hoping there really is an audience*. Please leave a comment. It helps me know that there are actual people I’m writing this to. I don’t want to leave writing because of what happened to me last time.  
> See you in the next chapter.


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